


Hell for the Holidays

by Jaina



Category: Alias
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-27
Updated: 2003-12-27
Packaged: 2017-11-05 05:50:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/403113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaina/pseuds/Jaina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The family that spies together, stays together...for the holidays.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Set after Remnants, Season 3.

Budapest 9:03 AM, 2 Days before Christmas

An old woman pushed a battered old cart, filled with garbage, discarded food, old clothes, and odds 'n ins, through the park. She was used to the cold, she had grown up in northern Russia and snow was familiar to her. Still it had been years since Irina Derevko had sloughed through several feet of snow, dressed very convincingly as a homeless woman, living on the streets.

She cursed Jack mentally as a group of young boys darted past her, pelting her with several wet slushy snowballs before they ran away, laughing. Apparently they thought it was funny to prey on someone that they looked down on or didn't understand. Irina's own sense of humor was long gone, though. She had spent the last week in this homeless old woman role. It was more than probable that one or both of the parties that were making the exchange here later today, had put this park under surveillance for several days preceding their meeting. So she had arrived well ahead of time in an attempt not to draw attention to herself.

She half stumbled as she pushed her cart into a rock hidden under the snow. Irina cursed under her breath in Russian, but took advantage of her slight stumble to surreptitiously glance around the park.

She found her target a moment later. He was a middle aged man, who was standing stiffly in the middle of the park. Clearly he was a new recruit, either that or Irina had given the Covenant more credit as an organization than they deserved. His only value to them at the moment had to be his expendability.

A distinctive flicker of motion caught Irina's eye. She recognized Sydney all the way across the park even in her extensive disguise. It was an interesting combination of mother's intuition and years of experience at seeing through the disguises people wore. She stared at Sydney for one long moment, taking in all of the features of her daughter's face that she had thought she would never see again, before she looked quickly away again. Most spies had a sort of sixth sense about people watching them and Irina didn't want Sydney to see her now.

It was one thing, she thought as she started winding her way through the park again, to not see Sydney for twenty years, but still be able to comfort in the knowledge that she was alive. It was quite another to think that you had outlived your only child, to think that you had failed her one last time in the largest way imaginable. It was unbearable for Irina.

The only thing that had kept her alive was the one person that she knew had more reasons to want her dead than anyone else in the world. Jack had found her in the depths of Hell and he had forced her to believe that Sydney was actually alive.

He made Irina keep trying and for that she would always be grateful to him. Together, they had also found something else. It was something that Irina had thought could never be found again. She discovered that Jack still loved her. After all that had happened, after all that she had done to he and Sydney, hearing Jack say those four little words- "I love you, Irina"- had still shaken her more than she thought was possible. Those words had given her hope and made her believe that they really could find Sydney, after all the impossible had already happened.

Irina watched now, as the conspicuous man looked around nervously and she tried to push thoughts of that year out of her mind. She hadn't had much of a chance to make contact with Jack since he had been released from solitary and she wasn't sure how his time in solitary had affected the understanding that they had reached.

She noticed Sydney take up a careful and discrete position a little way away from the man. He had no clue why she was there. Almost all of the players were here now, Irina noted idly. According to the information that Jack had given her only one person was missing from this meet now, the courier.

Irina was the first to spot him, a moment later, as he entered the park. This was the difficult part, she was supposed to intercept the courier before he made the exchange with the very nervous Covenant representative. From what Jack had told her about Sydney's plan, Irina knew that her daughter was planning to steal the disk after the exchange.

Irina pushed the cart forward, still assuming the role of the crazy homeless woman. She was very aware of everything around her, even as she feigned preoccupation with things know one else could see. Her cart rammed into the courier with enough force to catch the man's attention without making him suspicious of her.

Still it was enough to ignite his temper. That was precisely what she wanted. She had made a quick assessment of him a moment before, an assessment of the way he moved and the look in his eyes. It all told her one thing. This man was a brutal thug, easy to anger and quick to react. She had known many men like him over the years and that temper had gotten most of them killed.

Irina kept walking, not even bothering to glance at him as she shoved rudely past him. She could have smiled in triumph a moment later when she heard him following her. She waited until they were hidden from view of the street and the rest of the park by a small, sickly looking group of evergreens and a generic statue. She only had to wait a moment before the man found her.

A brief flash of surprise flickered through his eyes, when he got his first look at her. Nothing in the way she carried herself or the way she was acting, suggested that she was the homeless person that he had been following. He didn't even make it through his first swing.

Her foot connected harshly with his knee and Irina heard bone shatter. He fell down with a surprising yelp of pain. His hand dove into his jacket pocket and she didn't hesitate. She kicked the gun out of his hand and knocked him unconscious with another sharp kick. Quickly she rolled him onto his side, and searched him, taking the disk, his wallet and his watch. She doubted anyone who knew what this man was really carrying would think it was just a random theft, but it didn't hurt to try.

Irina didn't waste any time in moving back to her cart once she had what she had come for. Her mission would be completed soon. The first thing she would do after she got out of the park, would be to find a luxury hotel where she could soak in a hot tub for hours. The second thing she would do was contact Jack and set up away to get the disk to him and take the chance to gloat over having one their bet.

She still couldn't believe that Jack had actually made the bet. It wasn't like him. He usually took their jobs far more seriously. The terms of the loser's payment had been left vague on both of their parts-neither really believed that they would lose. Irina was already thinking about what she would subject him to when she heard a very familiar voice.

"Are you okay, Ma'am?"

Irina almost froze at the sound of her daughter's voice calling out to her. Only years of training kept her moving without the slightest telling hitch of motion. She angled her head down, cloaking it in the limited shadows of the early morning light and kept walking without acknowledging Sydney.

Her daughter was stubborn, though. "I saw that man following you and I wanted to make sure he hadn't hurt you."

If it had been anyone else, Irina would have simply spoken to them briefly, maintaining her alias as she did, and convinced them that she didn't need any help. Sydney wouldn't be so easy to get rid of though. She would recognize Irina's voice the moment that she spoke. There was only one thing left to try- bluffing her way out of this. Sheer bravado had worked for her so many times before when she had no other options.

Irina pushed past Sydney, conscious of the squeaking of her cart's wheels, hoping that Sydney would take the hint. She was almost home free when she heard a dull thump. Something had fallen out of the cart, landing in the snow beside. Once again, Irina ignored it.

Sydney however, noticed it immediately and helpfully bent down to pick it up, intending to return it to the other woman. Irina actually winced when she realized what had fallen. It was the man's wallet. Sydney noticed the discrepancy immediately, and took a quick step back pulling her gun. "Stop," she said harshly, "Don't move or I'll shoot you right there."

Irina obediently stopped and raised her face towards her daughter. Enough was enough. "Hello Sydney."

"Mom?"


	2. Part II

Budapest 10:57 AM, 2 Days before Christmas

"I thought you were working with Dad."

"I am, Sydney," Irina said. It was hard to be angry with her daughter at the moment, no matter how stubborn Sydney was being. She was finally clean, warm and dry. Sydney had been understandably upset when she found Irina there, but she hadn't made the connection between the disk and why Irina was there, at least not yet. In fact, Sydney seemed to have forgotten about why she was there, for the moment.

"Your father was worried about you going on this mission. He asked me to keep an eye on you and I agreed." Irina softened her tone of voice slightly. Sydney wasn't likely to believe what she was about to say, but it wasn't all a lie. Nothing of what she was saying was completely a lie. She knew that Jack always worried when their daughter was one a mission. He had confided that to her late one night almost two years ago, now. It had been one of the first times that they had lowered their guard with one another long enough to have a civil conversation. In the end their conversations had become much more than civil. But Sydney didn't need to know about that for the moment. Irina had a feeling that Jack had mentioned none of that to Sydney.

"I missed you, Sweetheart and I wanted to see you. The only reason I hesitated to agree to do this for Jack was the fact that I didn't think you would want me involved in your life. I know it's been hard for you since you've come back."

To Irina's surprise, Sydney seemed to deflate, and then took a seat on the bed of the luxury suite that Irina had checked into to get cleaned up. "Did you hear about Vaughn?"

The total lack of any kind of hope or any of her daughter's usual joy for life struck Irina worse than any punch ever had. The only thing that shocked her more was the fact that Sydney actually seemed to want to have a conversation with her. "I did," Irina said cautiously. "I was shocked when I found out. It was always so obvious how much he loved you. I was furious." Irina shook her head. "It's probably a good thing your father was in solitary. As it was it took all of my self control not to do something to show Agent Vaughn his stupidity."

"Dad said 'he was never good enough,'" Sydney offered up quietly, "but it doesn't matter, Mom, I still love him."

"I know, Sydney," Irina said quietly, focusing on her daughter and not the unreal moment that they were trapped in. Without hesitation, she sat down beside her daughter and wrapped her arms around, like she used to do when Sydney was little. Sydney didn't even flinch, she just relaxed into her mother's arms. "It will be okay. He will come to his senses one day." Sooner rather than later, Irina thought, if she and Jack had anything to do with it.

When Sydney woke up several hours later, she was alone in the room. She stood up warily, looking around carefully. She couldn't believe that she had confided in Irina like that or that she had actually fallen asleep like that. It had felt nice though, to have her Mom comfort her like that.

Concluding that she had left nothing in the room, she headed towards the door. Her mind was already pushing the surreal time with her mother to the back of her mind and refocusing on the reason that she was in Budapest. She would have to contact her father and tell him that she failed to make contact with the courier and- Sydney stopped in the middle of a train of thought, a note on the door catching her attention as she started to leave.

Sydney, I'm sorry I had to leave before you woke up, but I had some business here that I had to finish. I hope I'll see you again soon, Sweetheart. I love you and I missed you. I already talked to Jack about the reason you were here. He said to tell you to go back to LA and that he managed to get the information from another source. Your ticket is waiting at the airport. If you ever need to contact me, just ask your father.

Oh, and I arranged to have a surprise waiting for you back in LA. It's not your Agent Vaughn, but hopefully it will cheer you up.

Irina

Budapest 3 hours before Sydney wakes up

Irina watched her daughter carefully. Sydney was sleeping in her arms. It was an amazing sight to Irina, mainly because of what she knew that it meant. For a spy, falling asleep in unfamiliar territory or around an untrustworthy person could be their last mistake. A person was always most vulnerable in their sleep. Seeing Sydney fall asleep with her there was an incontrovertible sign that she trusted Irina, at least enough to feel safe that she wouldn't wake up to an unpleasant death or as a hostage to one of her numerous enemies.

Without really thinking about it, Irina reached down to brush a strand of hair away from her daughter's face. She froze as she revealed Sydney's peaceful face, seeing for a moment her baby girl who wanted nothing more than to be Daddy's little Princess, rather than the strong confident woman and sometime ruthless double agent that she knew Sydney could sometimes be.

She had missed so much.

The first time she abandoned Sydney it had been by her own choice. It was no choice to condemn her daughter and the man she had come to love to a lifetime of always looking over their shoulders, constant moves and the ever present threat of violence. And that was the best case scenario.

As much as she had wished to protest her extraction, she hadn't. It was years before she had gained everything she needed see her family again. But once again, that had been her choice and her decision to reveal who she was. Their next long term separation was not her choice. Sydney was ripped from her with no explanation or warning. It had been agony.

A small flicker of motion caught her eye, the hands of the clock on the dresser drifting inexorably forward. The clock was a reminder that Irina did not want. It was dangerous for both of them for Irina to spend to much time with Sydney. Jack's yearlong stay in solitary had proven that. Focusing one last look at Sydney, Irina tried to memorize every detail of her daughter's face. Irina was hopeful, but not delusional. She knew that anything could happen to either of them at any time in their line of work.

Gently Irina eased away from Sydney, settling her daughter softly down on the bed. Soundlessly, Irina pressed a feather light kiss to Sydney's temple. "Sleep well, Sweetheart."

Irina waited until she was out in the hall, once again all business, before she pulled out her cell phone. She punched in the number she was so familiar with and then waited as it rang. She wasn't disappointed. The phone was answered after only one ring.

"Bristow." His voice was harsh and cold.

"I have the disk, Jack." Her reply was almost toneless. Her encounter with Sydney had revitalized her, but Jack's moods could be as unpredictable as her own, at least where she was concerned.

His response was sharp, "You should have contacted me over an hour ago."

He didn't demand to know where she had been, though. That at least was one advantage of having worked with Jack for a year. He had begun to learn to trust her again, if only to a point. That and the hint of worry in Jack's voice, softened the harsh retort on the tip of Irina's tongue. "I was with Sydney."

Silence stretched for a moment. "Does that mean that she knows that you have the disk?"

"No, I made it sound as if you just asked me to tail her because you were worried about her safety. She seemed to accept that and I told her in the note that I left for her that you ha managed to get the disk from another source."

"You left her a note," Jack's voice was curious but not accusing.

"She was sleeping peacefully when I left," Irina explained quietly, as she threaded her way through the crowded streets.

"Good," Jack sounded genuinely relieved, "She hasn't told me much, but I know that she's been having frequent nightmares, recently."

Irina froze in mid-step, her momentum the only thing that carried her forward as she was confronted by her own nightmares. The only difference was that her nightmares, her greatest fears, had turned into a reality. First Jack had found out who she truly was and hated her for it and then two decades later, when she had only recently been reunited with her family, Sydney had died.

"Hopefully I can see what's on that disk before she does," Jack continued, unaware of Irina's brief flash of horror. "Sydney tortured herself watching the tape of Lazarey's murder."

Irina nodded, even though she knew Jack couldn't see her. "I'll have the disk on it's way to you in a few hours."

"Why don't you make the delivery personally, Irina?"

She smiled involuntarily, pushing the darker thoughts that occasionally haunted her to the back of her mind, savoring her momentary anonymity and the way that it freed her from the need to mask what she was really feeling. Irina wanted to see him as much as he wanted to see her. She had missed him so much. The past year had been hell, unable to free Jack, for fear that it would be used against him -not even sure if he wanted her to free him anymore- and desperately searching for Sydney on her own.

"I have things to take care of, Jack," she said firmly, "and you are under constant surveillance by several different organizations."

"That's never stopped you before, Irina."

"True, but you did end up in NSC custody last time." She could almost see his pained grimace. They had been at their best then, for once working together rather than against one another. They were each others greatest strength. They had also proved to be the other's greatest distraction and greatest weakness.

"Very well, I'll share the results with you when I get it decrypted." She could hear him start to hang up.

"What do you think you're doing, Jonathon Bristow? Surely you haven't forgotten about the bet that you proposed."

"Of course not." She almost believe that he hadn't intentionally not mentioned it. "After all, I believe you lost, Irina."

She laughed sharply, "Not likely, Jack. According to the terms you set, I won and fortunately, at least for me, I already have an idea about how you can pay up."


	3. Part III

Los Angeles Airport, Early Afternoon, Christmas Eve

Sydney Bristow waited patiently in the holiday lines at the Los Angeles airport. She knew that she wasn't expected in the office until after Christmas, but she would still probably go in later. She would also have to talk to her father about her trip to Budapest. She knew that he had worked with Irina during the time that she was gone, but somehow she got the feeling that she was missing something. Of course, Sydney thought idly as she pulled her single suitcase off of the conveyer belt and headed towards the airport exit, it always felt that way these days.

Lost in the whirlwind of contradictory and troubled thoughts that usually followed a visit with her mother, Sydney was too distracted to think about the surprise Irina had promised. Her spy training, still in full force despite her present preoccupation with the past few months and in particular the past few days, brought a distant sound to her ears. It immediately caught her attention, although she wasn't sure yet why it had. From the small snippets of sound that she could hear it sounded like a man singing Christmas carols, not at all unusual for the airport at this time of year.

Still something about that voice was achingly familiar. She searched her memory for any connection or sign of recognition as she changed directions and headed towards the mystery voice. A small crowd of onlookers had gathered around the singer, blocking him from her view as she got closer. Features blurred by a large red Santa suit, recognition and disbelief at the identity of the man still hit her as she reached the edge of the crowd.

"Dad," she whispered in complete and total disbelief. More slowly she made her way to the front of the crowd and saw Jack Bristow not only singing, but from what she could tell smiling convincingly, if a bit painfully and wearing a Santa suit. Once she managed to close her mouth- several long moments after her jaw dropped in shock- it was all she could do not to start laughing hysterically. The image was almost too ridiculous for her to process.

She watched him for a moment and then relaxed, settling back to watch him. She couldn't contain her laughter any longer when he burst into a rendition of "Leroy the Redneck Reindeer," after someone requested it. After she managed to calm down a moment later she found a seat on a bench out of Jack's line of sight. As she listened to her father singe and add in the occasional "Ho-ho-ho" or "Merry Christmas" between songs, she realized that this was the happiest she had been in quite some time. She hadn't really laughed like that since... since the last time she had gone out partying with Will and Francie. She pushed back the thought of her past. Sydney didn't want to dwell on that right now, she just wanted to enjoy the moment.

Jack might not know that she was there yet, but she was enjoying seeing the lighter side of her father. It was moments like this that reminded her of the good times she had had with her father. For the first time in years, she was remembering her childhood without being consumed with anger at her mother or feeling a sense of betrayal. As she listened to Jack sing, she could remember her mother bundling her five year old self up to go out caroling with her parents.

Sydney could still see the way that Irina had practically glowed around Jack. Back then seeing her parent's hold hands, kiss freely-without any tension, reservations or C4 necklaces- or show their love for one another in a thousand little ways had been the height of normalcy. That Christmas had been their last with Laura and it had always been one of Sydney's favorite memories. Maybe she would even mention it to her father later. Usually she wouldn't have even considered it, but he had been so different since she had returned, in a good way. Besides her very brief chat with Irina had left her no clearer on what had happened between her parents during her missing two years than the brief comments that her father had made.

Her cell phone rang, loudly cutting into her musings about her parents. She flipped it open quickly, expecting it to be someone from the office. Weiss was the only person, other than her father who would call her for social reasons and Eric was currently on the East Coast, visiting his family for the holidays.

"Bristow," she answered automatically, even as she grimaced. She was happy and she wasn't ready for work to intrude again.

"Hello, Sydney." Irina's relaxed voice, full of amusement, greeted her rather than the urgent voice of the agent that she had been expecting. "Did you like your surprise?"

"Mom, what are you-Dad! That was you?" Her disbelief was plain in her voice. First her father's odd behavior and now if she was right, the even odder explanation that Irina was about to give her. Only in her family, Sydney thought ruefully. Or in a loony bin, noted the tiny voice in the back of her head that often gave mental voice to her more cynical thoughts. "How did you convince, Dad?" Sydney asked softly, settling back on the bench again, doing the only thing that she could by accepting the surrealness of her current conversation with her mother. She had things she wanted to say to Irina and questions that had to be asked, but for the moment she just wanted to have a somewhat normal talk with her mom.

She heard Irina laugh. "Jack lost a bet to me. Those were the conditions that I set for him if he lost. It's actually for a local children's charity that Jack has been known to contribute to," Irina explained to Sydney's surprise. "It gave Jack one less excuse to try and get out of it. Besides," Irina said seriously, "I thought you could use some cheering up after your trip."

Sydney couldn't contain a giggle that probably made her sound ten or fifteen years younger than she really was, at that. "Seeing Dad in a Santa suit will certainly do that. I wish you could see him, Mom," Sydney said and was surprised to find that she actually meant it. She had been hostile or at best ambivalent towards Irina at first, the day before. Now, maybe it was seeing her father like this or remembering what Irina had said to her a long time ago in a deserted ice rink, but she realized that she was actually glad to be talking to her mother.

That thought also brought another one to the front of her mind. It was a thought that she had only vaguely considered a few times since she realized that her mother was alive. At first she had dismissed it as the height of insanity, but now, the way Jack and Irina were acting, she was beginning to wonder. "You know, Mom," Sydney said slowly, trying to keep her sudden rush of adrenaline- whether from joy or fear she wasn't sure-from her voice, "I think Dad might like it if you were here, too."

Irina didn't even comment on the non-sequitor. She simply ignored the whole thing. If she hadn't known better she would have thought that she hadn't even spoken aloud. "Oh, don't worry, Sweetheart, did you really think I would go to all of this trouble for nothing?" Sydney didn't have time to respond or even repeat what she had said as Irina kept talking. "When you see Jack, tell him I said hello. He should be done in a few minutes."

Sydney bit back another laugh, "Sure, Mom." Irina's silence and complete dismissal of what she had said, said more to her than any lengthy denial or confirmation. She was just about to ask Irina another question, when Irina spoke up quickly.

"I have to go Sydney, but we'll talk again soon." With a rushed, "Merry Christmas," Irina quickly hung up.

====================================================================

Jack Bristow silently cursed Irina. He cursed silently, because if he cursed out loud at that moment he would've had to interrupt the Chrismas carol that he was singing. Really, he admitted to himself, he should have known better than to use the threat of involving Katya to persuade Irina to help him. His wife could be a very cruel woman when she wanted to. Forcing him to humiliate himself like this in a large public place was just like her. He was also certain beyond any shadow of a doubt that Irina had someone here watching him. Not to make sure that he would follow through with it- she knew that he wouldn't try to get out of honoring their bet- but to take pictures for posterity and possibly blackmail.

Jack just hoped that none of his professional rivals or enemies came by while he was doing this. It would be much harder to intimidate someone or threaten them into cooperation when they were laughing at the image of him in a Santa suit, not that he couldn't manage, of course.

He started feeling a little bit better as the crowd began to thin. It was starting to get late in the day and people were heading home to their families, after a long day of traveling, or running off to catch their flight. Jack grimaced at the thought of all of those happy families. In the past, he and Sydney had rarely fit that description. Jack had to admit though, that this year he was, for the first time in decades, looking forward to Christmas. More specifically he was looking forward to spending it with Sydney.

He tried to remember when he had last spent the holidays with his daughter. The number, when he came up with it, surprised him so badly that he almost stopped singing in the middle of one song. He knew that he hadn't been the best father to Sydney, but he hadn't realized how much he hadn't been there for her. He had spent the Christmas after Laura's "Death" in solitary. By the time he got out of solitary, he had changed and so had Sydney. The next year he was gone on a mission in South Africa, for Sloane. The years after that he and Sydney had still exchanged the obligatory gifts, but they had never been at the same place at the same time, for the holidays. She would be away at boarding school and unable to come home or he would be working.

The sudden dose of ghosts of Christmas past brought back his normal grim mood. He noticed that only a few people were left from the crowd- an older couple standing off to the side, nibbling on what looked and smelled like a gingerbread man and a young woman, who was mostly obscured from his sight by the large poinsettia plant that was between him and the bench that she was sitting on. He finished his current carol and then stopped singing.

Mustering as much dignity as he could he turned and started to walk away. The sooner he could get out of this the better. He felt a hand touch his shoulder and he stiffened, even in the more or less friendly turf of Los Angeles he was still expecting to feel a gun barrel press into his spine at any moment.

"Dad?"

For one instant he relaxed and then he remembered what he was wearing. "Sydney," he said coolly, trying to maintain his usual look of stony indifference. Jack saw her struggling to conceal her amusement and failing horribly. She was grinning wildly and her eyes were sparkling with mischief. He was struck by the way that she looked. His daughter looked almost carefree. It was good to see her forget about Michael Vaughn and her missing two years for a moment.

"So, uh, Dad, I like your new suit."

Surprising even himself, Jack smiled. If seeing him look ridiculous cheered Sydney up, then it was well worth the rest of the humiliation that he was experiencing. He might even have to thank Irina. Of course, that might be going a bit too far. "It's a new look I've been considering," Jack added with total deadpan seriousness.

"You should show it off around the office sometime," Sydney commented, trying to control her wide smile.

Jack visibly grimaced just at the thought of being seen like this by Eric Weiss, Michael Vaughn or any of his other colleagues. At least he could have the morbid satisfaction of knowing that there was no chance of Robert Lindsey seeing or hearing about this.

"So, Dad," Sydney said, once again surprising Jack by linking her arm through his as they moved towards the exit, "Have you heard from Mom recently?"


	4. Part IV

Los Angeles 9:30 PM Christmas Eve

Jack Bristow shrugged off his jacket as he walked into his house. He had dropped Sydney off at her apartment almost half an hour ago, after she had reminded him that she would be over early the next morning to cook Christmas dinner. Jack allowed himself an amused smile as he remembered their conversation as they left the airport. Sydney had been openly curious, asking for information about the time after her apparent death. She had even gone so far as to drop several well disguised questions about what had happened between he and Irina while she was missing. He had skirted around her questions almost as easily as she had asked them, but when the topic of his time in solitary suddenly came up, he almost wished that they hadn't left her previous line of questioning.

Sydney had immediately stopped asking questions and gone silent- something he had almost been hoping for mere moments ago. The totally blank expression that she had almost instantly adopted, reminded Jack eerily of his own customary expression. They had ridden in silence for several long moments before Sydney had turned her head to face him.

"Dad," she whispered softly and he could hear the guilt in her voice. "Dad, I-" Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw her stiffen, as she looked over at him, "I guess this is the second time that you've ended up in solitary for a woman that you love."

He could hear the bitterness in her voice. Without hesitation, Jack reached over and squeezed her shoulder. "Sydney, you aren't responsible for my imprisonment any more than I was responsible for your disappearance." Privately, Jack didn't really agree with that statement. He had spent the last two years thinking of hundreds of things that he could have done, measures that he could have set up that would have kept her safe, but this made his point much better. "I made the choice to work with Irina and in the end I faced the consequences of those actions."

Sydney had almost seemed to accept that and he had hoped that she truly would in time. Her empathy and her sense of personal responsibility for all of the bad things that happened to people that she cared about, could be two of her greatest faults as an agent.

Pushing away thoughts of the ride home, Jack sighed and walked into his living room, moving towards the phone and the Chinese takeout menu that he knew was right next to it. He froze as he took one step into his living room. Something was wrong. Very slowly without making a sound, Jack reached for his gun. Once it was in his hand, he carefully surveyed his living room, moving towards the couch, the only place in the room where someone larger than a child could be effectively hidden from his view.

Jack saw the blood before he saw the body.


	5. Part V

Jack saw the blood before he saw the body.

Still cautious, Jack moved around his couch, his gun still trained on the person. After quickly scrutinizing them, a task made more difficult by the almost total lack of light in the room and confirming that he or she wasn't obviously armed, Jack stepped forward to see who it was. The moment his hand touched the person's shoulder and he had half turned them towards the light, Jack knew who it was. She was probably the last person he had expected to see.

"Irina?" His voice almost shook, as he quickly took in her injuries. He could already see several deep lacerations and at least one place where it looked like she had been grazed by a bullet. "Irina," he questioned again, shaking her sleeping, or more likely, passed out, form.

In response, he saw her eyes flicker open. She even attempted a smile when she realized that it was him. "Merry Christmas, Jack," she said weakly.

He didn't bother to ask her why she was there or even what had happened, at least not yet. He simply looked down at her, his features twisted into a concerned grimace. "Can you stand up," he asked carefully. Irina was injured but he was still willing to bet that she wanted her independence above most everything else.

Her only response was to hold her arm out to him. Without a word he pulled her to her feet. He half-carried, half-dragged her up to the master bedroom, when she refused to let him pick her up, and then laid her gently down on his bed.

As he turned away, walking towards the adjoining bathroom to get the various medical supplies that he would need, he heard her murmur, "It seems like you're always trying to get me into your bed, Jack."

Slightly relieved by the fact that she was still baiting him, Jack responded almost automatically, "You've never seemed to mind before, Irina."

She flashed him a tight smile and watched him in silence as he started examining her wounds. She didn't make a sound or even flinch as he began methodically cleaning her wounds. A moment later, he paused after pulling a jagged sliver of metal out of one of her wounds and shot her a questioning look.

"What did you do, Irina?"

She grimaced, "Someone used a rocket launcher on my car and then ringed the surrounding rooftops with snipers, just in case I survived the explosion."

He injected her with a local anesthetic, as he prepared to stitch up one of the worst grazes, before he responded. "Was it the Covenant?" His voice was cold. The message was clear. The Covenant was already on Jack's most wanted to interrogate and then dispose of list because of their involvement in Sydney's disappearance. Now they would wish they were dead, that is, Jack added silently, If Irina didn't get to them before he did.

No one got away with trying to kill her. In the end, most sane, or even semi sane people wished that they had never even heard of her.

"No," she said, decisively, drawing him out of his murderous thoughts, and even despite her injuries, Jack could hear the icy fury in her voice, "It was Arvin."

The first thoughts that flashed through his mind, made his earlier thoughts look pleasant. Finally he smiled, "Despite the fact that you're hurt, Sydney will be delighted to hear this. She's been aching for a chance to prove that Sloane hasn't changed. His pardon will be immediately revoked." He said the words with the same sense of satisfaction with which he had once felt for getting Irina sent to Camp Harris for unrestricted interrogation, with the death penalty waiting for her when she was done.

Of course, since then his desire to see Irina dead, had changed significantly.

She watched him as he carefully, gently, wrapped a deep cut on her arm with a clean bandage. "Jack," she said softly, "You can't turn Sloane in. The NSC would immediately put you back in custody and for treason, this time."

He nodded, but didn't seem affected by what she had said. "As long as Arvin gets the death penalty and is unable to hurt Sydney anymore, I don't care what happens to me. Besides, Irina, I won't let it get that far. I spent years as a double agent, I can find a way to give them the information without compromising my position."

With surprising forcefulness for a woman with a variety of recently afflicted injuries, Irina pulled herself into a sitting position and said sharply, "Don't do this, Jack. There's no need. I have information on someone else Arvin has had assassinated recently. I'll send you the information, and we can to do this without implicating either of us. Do this my way, for once."

He stared at her for a long moment. Irina met his eyes unflinchingly. It was all a matter of trust now. Could one year of struggling to find their missing daughter and repairing their trust in one another be enough to counter over two decades of deception and soul deep loathing?

After a minute, he nodded sharply and she relaxed imperceptibly. She stared at him a moment longer and then suddenly she noted the unhealthy paleness of his skin and the weight his always trim form had dropped since she had last seen him.

"Jack," she started to say more, but stopped as he pressed a finger gently to her lips. As he bent over to kiss her, she responded without hesitation. She had been separated from Jack for far too long.


	6. Part VI

Bristow Home, Early Christmas Morning

Irina Derevko shifted slightly, curling her arm around her legs as she pulled them closer to her chest. From her seat in the comfortable armchair, she watched Jack who lay still asleep in the bed that she had left less than an hour ago. Despite her injuries and how good it had felt to be back in Jack's arms after their yearlong separation, she hadn't been able to sleep for long. When she had gotten up, it had originally been with the intention of wandering the house, their house. She hadn't seen it or been there in a very long time.

It was amazing how much this place had stayed the same, while so much, including the people that it had housed, had changed so much. Their bedroom was different now, of course. Jack had purchased new furniture, but she could still see Laura's hand in little things around the room. The built in bookcases- now empty- that Jack had, had installed especially for her. A lamp that she had purchased in their first year of marriage and Jack had immediately swore that he hated, but still remained there. It was amazing to see that he hadn't erased all traces of her presence and, at the same time, more than a little disconcerting.

She really hadn't lied to Jack, all of those times that she told him that she loved him. Laura, however, was radically different from Irina. Both were strong, capable and confident women, but they were also mirror images of one another- two sides of the same coin.

Laura could always afford to be compassionate. Irina was ruthless without hesitation. Laura could never have shot her own daughter and they would both have died for it. Laura had weaknesses. Irina was always strong. Laura reveled in peace and stability. Irina lived on danger and struggled for power in a world of insanity. Nothing could stop her. Laura had everything. Irina had destroyed it all.

She snorted softly. Most people would call her clinically insane or at best mentally disturbed, if they had heard her thinking of herself as two different people. She dismissed her thoughts, for the moment at least, as her eyes came back up to rest on Jack's sleeping form.

He had shifted slightly when she rose, earlier, but hadn't woken up. Now, once again, he was sleeping peacefully, his chest rising and falling steadily as he slept. He had changed so much since the last time she had been in their home. They were both older and, debatably, wiser. Still one thing was the same-Jack's love. It hadn't remained a constant for all of the years that they were separated, but she could accept that. In those years, she couldn't have accepted the fact that he loved her- not that he had back then-now matter how much she had she had longed for it. Once again, after Sydney's apparent death, she had wanted to hear those words again. She had needed to hear it again. It was the one place where Laura and Irina shared the most similarities and differed the most.

A noise, nothing more than a slight whisper of sound really, caught Irina's ears, pulling her out of her thoughts. She glanced over at Jack to see if he had heard it as well, but she wasn't surprised to see him still asleep. Jack was an excellent agent and his senses were trained by decades of field work and an incredibly strong will to survive. She, however, had the added advantage of years of paranoia to sharpen her senses. People who headed organizations like the Man's could never afford to be careless or let their guard down.

Without hesitating, Irina eased the blanket she had been wrapped in off of her and quietly eased her badly damaged pants on, over her wounds. She didn't bother to change out of the shirt that she had borrowed out of Jack's closet earlier. There was no need and her own shirt was a lost cause.

She moved quietly down the hallway, praying that Jack hadn't added any new massive pieces of furniture to the hallway and carefully avoiding all of the loose, creaky boards as she headed towards the stairs. She had memorized a safe path in their first month of living in the house, after all it wouldn't have done for Jack to catch her because of a creaky stair.

She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked around carefully, checking the living room for intruders. Seeing no one, Irina moved quickly towards the couch and scooped up the gun that she vaguely remembered Jack leaving there the night before. Hearing another noise, louder this time, coming from her right where the kitchen used to be. She quietly eased towards the doorway and then stuck her head around it carefully, prepared for a hail of bullets to come flying back at her.

Irina slowly lowered her gun and a warm happy smile gradually replaced the fierce, dangerous look that had been on her face only moment before. She watched, unobserved and in silence as Sydney carefully set a ham down in a large pan and with a look of fierce concentration started adding the trimmings.

Irina's smile turned slightly bittersweet as she watched Sydney glance back and forth between two pieces of paper. One was old and the paper looked battered, but even from that distance Irina could recognized her own handwriting. It was obviously her old recipe for the annual Christmas ham. The second piece of paper next to it was crisp, clean, and obviously much newer than the first. Irina wondered where the second recipe had come from and if the someone else that Sydney had cared about had given it to her.

Sydney finally added the finishing touches to the ham and stepped back to put it in the stove. Irina remained where she was. She saw the exact moment that Sydney caught site of her as she leaned over to put the ham in the oven. Sydney froze slightly, but then pushed the ham the rest of the way in and stood up. Keeping her eyes locked on Irina, she closed the door slowly. Her eyes took in the pistol in Irina's hand, but she didn't react. Instead Sydney slowly walked towards Irina and hugged her tightly.

She pulled away from Irina and then took a step back. She looked at her mother, taking in the lacerations, the few stitches that had been added where necessary and her father's shirt. Sydney quickly looked up to meet Irina's eyes, a jumble of emotions flashing through them.

Irina saw both worry and angry defiance in her eyes, mixed with a little bit of hurt, that Jack and Irina hadn't told her that they were back together. Sydney folded her arms over her chest and backed up to lean against the counter. Irina mentally steeled herself for a fight with Sydney. She didn't seem to have Jack or Irina's temper, but still even as a child, the tantrums Sydney had thrown had been impressive.

Irina was expecting the first thing out of Sydney's mouth to be a challenge, so she was surprised when Sydney's expression softened and she asked coolly, but with a half-smile, "Are you planning on shooting someone with that?"

Irina shook her head, "Not right now." Checking the safety, Irina put the pistol down on the counter top and waited. She was certain that Sydney had at least one or two questions that she wanted to ask her.

Before Sydney could say anything, though, Irina saw Sydney's eyes widen slightly and the felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her from behind. "Irina," she heard Jack say sleepily, "It's still early, Love, came back to- "

Sydney coughed so loudly that Irina was certain that they could have heard her a mile away. Sydney's face was a shade of red that Irina hadn't know that it could turn, as Jack's head jerked up, all of the grogginess of sleep gone instantly as he realized that their daughter was standing right in front of them. Jack started to step back from her quickly, snatching his arm back as if he had just found out she was a leper.

Irina, however, was faster, despite her injuries, and grabbed his hand in hers, forcing him to keep it where it was, wrapped around her waist. She didn't care how embarrassed Jack or Sydney were at the moment, they were going to have this conversation. She loved both Sydney and Jack and she wanted each of them to know that. She started to say something, but stopped before she even started as Sydney quickly raised a hand. Irina wasn't sure if it was a gesture for silence or one of denial.

Sydney looked back and forth between her parents. Irina saw a glimmer of a tear start to form in Sydney's eye. She focused on Jack first and when she spoke her voice was tight and choked.

"Dad-are you happy?" Expecting something else, an accusation maybe or an angry out burst, they were both surprised at her question.

Jack didn't reply immediately, instead he looked down at Irina. It was almost a foreign question to him, but as he looked at his wife and saw all of the heartache and deception, he also saw the beauty and the love that they shared. He looked back up at Sydney and said quietly, simply, "Yes, for the first time, in a very long time." Jack tightened his hold on Irina, pulling her closer to him.

Sydney didn't comment, instead she focused on Irina. "You love him." It was a desperate, but firm statement of belief, not a question.

Irina answered anyway. "Yes, I do."

Without hesitation, Sydney stepped forward, and for the first time in several decades, Jack and Irina wrapped their daughter into a comforting embrace.


	7. Part VII

Bristow Residence, 12:34 PM Christmas Day

Watching her parents, Sydney mused, was truly fascinating. The last time she had seen them like this- seen them as a couple- she had only been a child. They had seemed perfectly normal then. Now everything they said, and everything they did had so much more depth. There was always a rich and mostly hidden subtext beneath everything. In some ways they were polar opposites, but like magnets, those attributes seemed to pull them together. The small glimpse she had gotten of her parents working together in Kashmir, had intrigued her, and she wondered, not for the first time, what would have happened had her parents met under different circumstances. Seeing them work together would be-

"Sydney, could you pass the soufflé?"

Sydney smiled, pulling herself out of her thoughts and carefully handed it to Jack. She straightened in her seat. So far today, with the exception of Irina's brief explanation of how she got injured, they hadn't discussed their mutual profession. It had been nice for a change. Still having both of her parents in a room with no one as a prisoner, was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

She cleared her throat, suddenly slightly nervous. "Dad, did you find out anything from that disk," she asked into a lull in the conversation.

So quickly- subtly- that she almost missed it, Sydney saw Irina's eyes flicker to Jack's and look away. It was another one of her parents little exchanges, but this time she recognized the message, if not its content for what it was. Question: Asked and answered.

Reigning in her impatience, she didn't press her father as Jack meticulously wiped his mouth with his napkin and brushed away a stray crumb.

"Sydney," he started to reply, but stopped short as the shrill ring of a cell phone interrupted him.

All three of them reached for theirs. In the end it was Irina who was being contacted. She raised the phone to her ear and answered with a rapid burst of Russian that Sydney couldn't quite hear. Sydney and Jack both eyed Irina curiously as she listened.

When she responded to her caller, Sydney didn't even have to hear the words that she said to hear the lethal fury in Irina's voice. Irina didn't even stop to look at Jack or Sydney, she simply rose and stepped out of the room without hesitation.

Sydney didn't voice what she was thinking. She wasn't quite sure what she was thinking actually. She knew that Irina's hands were far from clean. The fact that she loved her mother didn't change that, but truth be told her own hands weren't that clean, either. She had been responsible for the death of more than one or two people during her career. It could be justified of course, under the guise of patriotism. But was there really any difference between she and her mother?

It was a question that she had wrestled with since she had learned the truth about her Mom. More often than not, however, she responded to that train of thought like the well trained agent that she was and compartmentalized the thought away. It could eat at her, she knew, and if she happened to hesitate at the wrong moment, it could get her killed as well.

"Sydney?" This time Jack's voice was different. He was firm but compassionate. In a word, he was asking her if she was okay and Sydney appreciated that.

"I'm fine, Dad," she responded.

He nodded, "Sydney, we both know that Irina has made choices, done things that you and I can't accept. But," he hesitated for a long moment and Sydney had to wonder if he was going to continue, "I can accept that Irina is not a saint. Irina is a brilliant agent, and a very smart, beautiful woman, but she is also a woman of many flaws. Given the choices that she was in life, I don't know that I would have chosen differently." He looked carefully at his daughter. "What I'm trying to say, Sydney, is this. I know what Irina is capable of and I know what she's done. I also know that I love her. Not because of that and not in spite of that."

Sydney didn't respond, but inwardly she was amazed. She had never heard her father talk like that, especially about her mother. She looked up at him, thoughts still whirling through her head. She stood up from the table and took a step towards him. "Dad," she said slowly, "I just need some time to think. Not just about this," she waved her hand, to include herself, her father, and Irina wherever she was, "but about everything."

He nodded quickly, "Of course." She had taken several steps away from him, moving towards the door, when she heard him say, "Sydney?"

She stopped, turning back to look at him and she realized that for the first time, he was looking uncomfortable. "Your old room is still available," he said firmly, "It's just the way you left it.

=================================================================

Fifteen minutes later, Jack stood in the kitchen carefully surveying the reason why he lived off of takeout. He was perfectly capable of cooking, but he despised the clean up. He heard Irina approach from behind him and looked up at her as he leaned over to put a small bowl in the dishwasher.

She looked at him curiously, nothing the conspicuous absence of their daughter. "Where's Sydney?"

He frowned slightly, "Her room." His voice was bland, inflectionless.

"What did you tell her about the disk after I left," Irina asked quietly. Something about how Jack was acting suggested that something wasn't right.

"Nothing," Jack said easily as if he had been expecting her question, which he probably had, "We got sidetracked into another discussion and we never discussed the disk."

"Well is she okay?" Jack had been answering her questions, but Irina was getting impatient and tiring of their little game of twenty questions.

"She was upset," Jack admitted.

"About me," Irina said flatly.

Jack hesitated for a moment and Irina turned away suddenly. This had been inevitable and she was well aware of the fact that this day had gone far too well so far. "Jack," she said tiredly, "I have to go." She couldn't look at him as she said those words. He had known that she would have to leave eventually, but goodbyes were always tense moments for them, reminders of times in the past when she hadn't said goodbye. "The person I left in charge while I was in Budapest was assassinated today by one of my rivals. I need to go back before Sloane sees any sign of weakness on the part of my organization."

"Business before pleasure." It was a flat, dull statement of a cliché spoken with no emotion betrayed.

She walked away from him slowly, and without a word. He knew why she had to leave, and she suspected that as far as Sloane was concerned, he even agreed with her. There was little else that she could say to him, though, and she had a feeling that if she said what she really wanted to, he wouldn't believe her at that moment.

"Irina."

She stopped and waited, not turning back to face him yet. "If you're leaving now, tell Sydney." She heard what he didn't say. You be the one to tell Sydney that once again you're leaving her.

She hesitated for a fraction of a second and then turned to face him, "Jack.." She trailed off as she realized that she was talking to empty air. After a long moment she walked towards the stairs with far less holiday spirit in her, than she could have claimed an hour ago.

She climbed the stairs, trailing her hand along the banister as she did so, suddenly feeling old. Her hand paused over a familiar gouge in the wood, one that had been created during one of Sydney's more serious childhood mishaps. There were so many memories here. She continued her climb up the stairs and down the hall.

Irina walked down to the doorway that she knew contained Sydney's bedroom and looked in. Knowing that Sydney was probably already aware of the fact that she was there, Irina nevertheless knocked lightly on the doorframe.

"Come on in, Mom," Sydney said quietly, without bothering to turn around. "This room," she said suddenly, "It's so weird seeing it like this. I haven't been back in here since I moved out to start my freshman year of college." She fingered a graying poster from a band that Irina didn't recognize. "I actually forgot that I still had some of my things here. I lost everything else in the fire," she stated needlessly. "It will be nice to have some of my old things."

Irina let a shadow of a smile slip over her lips. "I know what you mean. I travel very lightly these days." She sighed, knowing that was as good of an introduction to the reason that she had come up here as any. This time she wouldn't have the easy out of leaving Sydney a note as she slept. "I have to leave soon. Business," she stated flatly.

Sydney fingered a small snowglobe on the top of her dresser, finally lifting it up to examine it closer. She held it up to Irina with a slight smile, "I can't believe that I left this here." Sydney grimaced, "Actually I can." She looked steadily at Irina, "I was mad at Dad when I packed up everything I was taking with me to my dorm room, because by that time I knew that he wouldn't be back in LA in time to help me move into my new dorm and I was furious." She didn't hesitate or look away from Irina. "The first Christmas after you left, Dad was in solitary. From the little that I remember, even Christmas didn't interest me much then, but what I really didn't understand was why Dad wasn't there with me." She hesitated, but then continued to talk, "A few weeks after he came home several months later, he handed me this," She hefted the snowglobe, "and told me that it was my Christmas present. He told me," she said with a wide smile, "that Santa had been overworked, but that he loved me so much that he had gone to the north pole to get my present from Santa, himself."

Her pained smile returned, "I didn't connect the fact that you were dead with the fact that Dad was gone. I know you have to leave again, Mom, but I guess this time I didn't want to be angry because you're not here. I might not like what you do, or the fact that we're on different sides of the law most of the time, but you are my Mom and I love you."

"Thank you," Irina said simply and didn't hesitate to hug Sydney, wrapping her daughter tightly in her arms.

Sydney laughed lightly and smiled somewhat ruefully at Irina. "Thank Dad. He said some things that made me think about some things differently." She pulled back out of Irina's embrace to look at her. "I haven't ever heard Dad talk like that before." She shook her head. "He really loves you, Mom."

=======================================================================

A little over an hour later, Irina listened as the front door of their house shut lightly, signaling that she and Jack were alone again. She waited in silence as he walked back towards her, stopping several feet away from her.

"Do you have to leave now," he asked quietly.

She wanted to say yes, she probably needed to say yes. "Why shouldn't I leave, Jack," she demanded finally letting out the anger that she had been suppressing in front of Sydney. Irina knew that it probably wasn't her smartest decision to challenge Jack about his feelings for her, but at that point she didn't care. "You hate me." She stated boldly, "and Sydney's safe again. So why am I here?"

"Because you want to be."

"Not anymore," she snapped furiously.

"Because I want you to be here," he said fiercely.

"Irina," he said more calmly into the silence that followed. "I don't know what to say."

"Sydney seemed to think you were fairly eloquent."

He grimaced, remembering that conversation with his daughter. "Not really. All I said was that I love you." His sudden burst of honesty surprised even him. He hadn't been planning on saying that to her especially not that night. Something told him though, that if he hadn't said that Irina would disappear again, and this time it would be his fault. He just hoped that this time would be different.

She cocked her head slightly to the side, "What if I said that was all I wanted to hear, Jack."

He looked at her for a long moment and then smiled slightly. "Then I would ask why you're still standing over there. I have missed you, Irina and you do have to leave again soon, no matter how much I dislike that fact."

She smirked at his response, but didn't hesitate to do what he had asked. As he leaned down to kiss her, she had one last fleeting thought.. it was a good thing Sydney was gone.

Hours later, long after night had fallen over the city, Irina climbed out of the taxi that she had taken to the airport. She smiled carelessly at the driver as she got out, not caring for the moment that, that gesture of acknowledgement could increase the chances of the man remembering her face, if someone came looking for her. For the moment she didn't care.

Her holidays had certainly turned out differently than she had expected. She had spent Christmas day with her family and eaten a more or less traditional family dinner. She had spent most of the day with Sydney in a non life and death situation and it had been nice simply to be a mother again, not "The Man." She had spent the rest of the time with Jack and it had definitely been time well spent. They had, in fact, already made plans for Christmas next year. Now though, it was time for her to return to the life she had made for herself and content herself with only brief contacts with her family for another year.

Two weeks later, Jack watched smugly, with Sydney standing next to him wearing a look of grim triumph, as Arvin Sloane was dragged past them and taken into federal custody, this time with no chance of a deal or immunity of any kind. Jack fingered the note in his pocket that he knew by heart. He had found it two days ago, in his mailbox. He knew it by heart. It contained a series of letters and numbers that were the decryption code for the disk that she had also provided him with which contained all of the evidence he needed against Sloane, and two little words.

_Love Irina_


End file.
